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Joke of the Day
"I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats Prophets are through the roof"
Next Joke
"Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound."
"What do you with a dying chemist? Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!"
"Hey Amish person reading this: Busted."
"A doctor walks into a bank to make a deposit. When he goes to sign the check, he realizes he's scribbling with a thermometer. ""Oh, that's great,"" he says. ""Some asshole's got my pen!"""
"Whores on first, sluts on second, idle hos on third."
"Man who go to bed with itchy bum Wake up with smelly finger. Is fact."
"Ouija board......""your going to die!"" Me: you're*"
"6 months ago my doctor gave me 6 months to live. But when I couldn't pay my bill today, he decided to give me another 6 months."
"I don't have tinted windows on my car because if people don't like watching me dance, they can tint their own goddamn windows."