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Joke of the Day

"Mom: Fred there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday and now there's only one. Why? Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one."

"I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator."

"I only do cocaine with the flexible straws. So I can reach my dashboard while i'm driving."

"What did the salt say to the pepper? Season's greetings!"

"Avoid office small talk by maintaining that facial expression between first sneeze and second sneeze."

"Why do Italian men grow moustache's? So they can look like their mother."

"Tim Cook bravely announces he's gay. The world pats his hand like a kindly grandmother. ""We know, dear."""

"Babe Ruth points at a toilet, then takes a gigantic dump in it."

"What did the pornstar say after getting a cumshot in the eye? ""I didn't see that coming"""

"Half of men in America watch porn everyday. The other half are waiting for Comcast to fix their internet connection."