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Joke of the Day

"What do Asians find hard in math? Their dick."

"My boyfriend doesn't like when I give our neighbors nicknames like, ""Beard Man"" ""Jolly Girl"" and ""the one I slept with in 2009."""

"I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"I hope fashion in the future isn't all like, weird metal bird outfits. Cuz a bunch of mine just got stolen."

"What's better than Roses on your Piano? Tulips on your Organ."

"Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**"

"How I met your mother was....... How I met your mother was.....nothing but a 9 year (season) long TED Talk"

"Einstein took naps during the day. So if you want to be smarter, my advice is to take more naps while having an IQ of 160."

"What's the difference between a man's balls and Jehovah's Witnesses? There's none. They both knock on the door, but never goes in!"

"Bad news, the police just seized our German holiday bread. They said it was stollen. Folks, they said it was stollen."