51002

Joke of the Day

"I'm uncomfortable with abortion. It gives me cramps."

"When the space shuttle gets back from its last mission, wouldn't it be hilarious if we were all dressed as apes?"

"Yo mama so fat, when she stands next to yo daddy they still in a long-distance relationship."

"Son:Dad's trick or treating as a ghost in a bed sheet? Wife:& heels,eye patch & his hand stuck in a Nutella jar. More like a ghost on ambien"

"Pal: On your date, go to a French restaurant. And remember! Girls love a wine connoisseur. Later... Me: we'll both have the wine connoisseur"

"What do you call an Englishman with no butt? An assless chap."

"So I went over to my uncle with a lisp's house He asked me ""hey d-do you w-w-want a d-d-dee-dee-d-d-d-deep-deep-d-deeeeeep freezer?"" I replied: ""Noo thanks buddy that's too deep for me"" [EDIT] Fuck."

"I need Hike Employee: I need Hike. H.R : Install it from play store."

"Why aren't fish good tennis players? They don't like getting close to the net!"

"I told my ex she was cross between a rare coin and female dog. A two faced bitch."