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Joke of the Day

"The Detroit Lions have been given guns to subvert increasing violence in the area... ...local zookeepers fear the worst."

"When God was handing out obstacles I thought he said popsicles and said I'll take one of each variety."

"This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she's never broken a lawnmower before."

"I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He's going to pay for that later."

"i feel wrong i think im having a dyslexic stroke. i cant smell anything on the left side of my body and i feel toast."

"Q: How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America? A: Many of them have sixth grade reading levels."

"I like the lack of controversy over the Olympic men's figure skating ""No Need to Ask, We'll Tell!"" policy."

"Sure she mainly used knife emojis but at least she replied to your text."

"How did God get Mary pregnant? He used the holy immaculate contraception"

"WARNING! If you get an e-mail with the title of ""Nude Photo of Newt Gingrich"" DO NOT OPEN IT! It IS a nude photo of Newt Gingrich."