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Joke of the Day

"Me: This infomercial is so stupid. *10 mins later* Me: So all I have to pay on the 2nd one is the shipping and handling?"

"Next on *Will it Blend?* Marijuana! ***Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*** *opens lid* ""Ahh, you can *definitely* breathe this."""

"My husband gets so cranky when I come home from the pool with only a fraction of the kids I left with"

"What happened to the Marine that took a laxative? He was relieved of doodie."

"How much cum does a gay guy have? A butt load."

"I am so glad that BP is easier to spell then Eyjafjallajokull"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"Why is Theresa May so against Porn? When she clearly loves fucking a whole country at once with the world watching."

"""We're not so different, you and I,"" Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper."

"Popped a tire on a pot hole today Badum tss"