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Joke of the Day

"Which alligator lives in the arctic? The refridgegator."

"Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad."

"What is the square root of 69? Ate Something! (""8 something"", actually 8.306)"

"Him: Damn, girl, are you a math textbook? Her: No, why? Him: 'Cause you have a lot of fuckin' problems."

"The cucumbers are taking over my garden and trying to starve all the other vegetables out. It's a war of nutrition."

"""What's your name?"" ""Dave Fucking Smith"" ""Do you have Tourette's, Dave?"" ""No, but the vicar at my christening did."""

"A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border. The Ukrainian border guard asks, ""Name?"" The Russian answers, ""Boris."" The border guard asks, ""Occupation?"" The Russian says, ""No, just visiting."""

"Having sex is like playing a game of bridge If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."

"My crush said he made his phone keys sticky thinking of me so I dumped him. I'm disgusted. What kind of loser still has keys on his phone?"

"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..."