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Joke of the Day

"""The most comfortable place to put your elbows at dinner is on the table, so I'm gonna go ahead and make that bad manners."" -Some asshole"

"Once upon a time I tried to make a joke in a music class Sadly, it fell flat."

"Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution."

"Vampire who is obsessed with his diet. -Count Calories"

"Halloween '94: Mom says store sold out of Batman costumes and buys me a Catwoman one. Called me Catman. The worst part: she went as Batman?"

"Amputees will not find this joke funny: Actually, I'm going to cut this joke short."

"Joke look into the mirror"

"Do you know the difference ""Hey, do you know what the difference is between window curtains and toilet paper?"" ""No."" ""So it was you then!!!"""

"When I see a plate of food, I eat it, rather than photograph it like a dangerous psychopath with no respect for God's Law."

"Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ............no matter how magnificent they look."