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Joke of the Day

"Be Alert The world needs more lerts."

"I kill people for a living with my jokes! HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCK YOU"

"To the person who stole my shoes at the McDonald's playplace: Please grow up."

"How many ""suh dude""s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. It's already lit fam"

"I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place It's called ""What's the Wurst That Could Happen?"""

"My girlfriend told me she's going to break up with me if I don't stop with these nosebleeds... So I tell her ""Hey, if you can find better tickets, YOU look for them!"""

"Take a chill pill? I had a friend overdose on chill pills you insensitive prick!"

"The next World Cup is going to be held in Nevada FIFA Las Vegas"

"Q: What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains? A: Patty O'Furniture."

"Nothing says rock bottom quite like having your head in the oven for 45 minutes before you realize you forgot to pay the gas bill"