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Joke of the Day

"I'm Puerto Rican, but not ""carries a knife in my purse everywhere I go"" Puerto Rican. Sometimes it's in my bra."

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"The British Pound? You mean the British Ounce."
"I told my dad ""Look, I got a B in reading!"" He said ""That's a D you idiot."" -Rocky Laporte http://www.cc.com/video-clips/m25nl8/comedy-central-presents-birthday"
"So I walked into an apple phone store... And I farted, the people working there got mad at me and I said,""it's not my fault you don't have any windows"""
"What company spent over $6.2 billion in buying Viagra? Microsoft"
"I shouldn't play with Legos? It says ""Ages 7 & Up"". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class."
"You deserve a standing ovation from my tallest finger."
"[home depot] ME: I think I like this huge decorative rock HER: Boulder ME: Ok [with confidence] I REALLY LOVE THIS HUGE DECORATIVE ROCK"
"Did you hear that great joke about Schrodinger's cat?"
"Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse? The psycho-path!"
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