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Joke of the Day

"I'm Puerto Rican, but not ""carries a knife in my purse everywhere I go"" Puerto Rican. Sometimes it's in my bra."

"I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival."

"Walked past a hero turned to stone I guess the gods took him for granite"

"I don't like how far I have to scroll down when I enter my birth year online."

"Did you hear about the new protagonist in Mass effect 4? It's Commander Lamb. (From a friend of mine... Told it to me while we were in a party chat)"

"Barack and George walked into the White House... Hillary Dodged."

"What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called? Dr Whoover"

"Q: What's red and really bad for your teeth? A: A brick."

"What's the difference between ELI5 and AskScience? About 3 replies in the top comment thread."

"My cat was bitten by a squirrel and I have to suck the rabies out before she slips into a double cheese burger. --how I cancel dates"