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Joke of the Day

"I don't like coconut so I don't eat coconut. I don't follow coconut around criticizing its texture or taste or tweets or sense of humor."

"Everclear songs are really easy to play on guitar It's because their dad's weren't around to give them music lessons."

"What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with mud? a dirty hooker"

"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They keep stealing the green cards."

"Sylvester Stallone is looking more and more like G.I Joe doll put in a microwave on high for twenty minutes"

"""I need to talk to you."" Has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you've ever done. Ever."

"Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool."

"God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese."

"Anyone know how long we are supposed to ""Shake It Off""? Taylor never specified and frankly I'm exhausted!"

"Can't believe tomorrow is Take Your Alcohol to Work Day."