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Joke of the Day
"Wanna hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it."
Next Joke
"Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Truth or dare I: M: I:.. Dare M: I dare you to give me this job I:(under breath) Damn she's good"
"My family treats me like a god. They only talk to me when they want something."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The P is silent"
"After Oprah lost all that weight....... .....she was just a Phantom of the Oprah!"
"I haven't slept for 3 days... Because that would be way too long."
"What do you call a hard drive in a hydraulic press? File compression"
"Interviewer: may we contact your previous employers? [cut to the giant grave in the desert where I buried them all] Me: lol you could try"
"I'm 27, my BF is 37. Is 10 years too much of an age gap? 'cause his son is 17 and really hot."
"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar"