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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: ok, just need a urine sample & we're done. Me handing him my boxers: I'm in a rush. Just wring these out."

"People do not know how to merge into traffic. All you do is yield, look left, close your eyes, and go."

"Why did the Seahawks pass the ball? To get to the other side!"

"What is a Polish person's favorite weapon? A Warsaw..."

"What happened when the gay guy put a nicoderm patch on his wiener? He cut down to two butts a day"

"I am not a fan of dad jokes. ""Hi, Notafanofdadjokes, I'm Dad."""

"At first I didn't like my new haircut But it's starting to grow on me"

"I have such a bad cold that when I breathe through my nose, it sounds like Marge Simpson sighing/expressing disapproval."

"I'm reading a book on evolution... The beginning wasn't great, but it's getting better over time."

"Mrs. Claus gave birth on the 24th of December I guess you could say Santa came early this year."