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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: ok, just need a urine sample & we're done. Me handing him my boxers: I'm in a rush. Just wring these out."

"Going to dress up as a Jedi today and open automatic doors for people with the force. NO YOU GET A LIFE."

"All we do is support you, all you ever do is complain about us! -if bras could talk"

"How does a muslim close a door? Islams it."

"Deep Love no matter how deeply you love someone, you cannot express it more than six inches deep"

"There is a order to the universe: space, time, and Chuck Norris...just kidding Chuck Norris is the first"

"I went to vegetarian restaurant the other day... I falafel afterwards."

"If going down on a guy is a blowjob... (NSFW) and jacking a guy off is a handjob, does that make masturbation an inside job?"

"Damn Shakira is doing Activia commercials too now. With all that belly dancing, you'd think she'd be able to shit. Who knew."

"""Daddy, how do stars die?"" ""Drugs, normally."""