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Joke of the Day

"Q:Whats is fat ugly and gives good head? A:Your mom OOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOooooo"

"Does anyone else ever hear their alarm go off in the morning and immediately start rationalizing quitting your job?"

"What do you say to a broken Xbox One? Nothing, you already said it twice."

"I was shopping with my 4yo the other day... when he suddenly exclaimed infront of the hot cashier that ""Daddy has a penis!"" I was so embarrased. Big penis honey, big penis."

"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."

"what do you call a cat in a blender? Meow Mix"

"Everyone was calling me a Pedo I'm 47 and she's 20, but the people in the restaurant really ruined our tenth anniversary"

"At the Olympics a man walked up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Excuse me, are you a pole vaulter?"" ""Nein, I am German, but how did you know my name ist Walter?"""

"Why married guys are fat A single guy opens the fridge, sees nothing interesting there; he goes to bed. A married guy goes in the bedroom, sees nothing interesting there; he goes to the fridge."

"I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle."