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Joke of the Day

"*brings bucket of fried chicken in meeting* *meeting starts* *I eat each piece, crunching, licking my fingers* *touches all the paper work*"

"Q: Why couldn't the faucet be within 100 feet of the pasta bowl? A: There was a restraining order."

"Two tachyons are sitting in a gaming cafe when a normal particle walks in. The first tachyon looks over its shoulder and says, ""Fucking causals."""

"Damn girl, is it just me, Or did I just damn you to hell for the sake of pick up line?"

"It's weird how scantrons make you go #2 all over them."

"How many? How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's probably screwed it too tight anyhow!"

"Today is a very special day. The one day a year I can say I have a girl."

"What did the suicidal college student say to his room mate? Dont leave me hangin' bro"

"What is the only group of cops who get in trouble when a black guy gets killed? secret service"

"Parenting 101 1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don't admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening."