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Joke of the Day

"Farted in front of my Jewish boss today. He wasn't impressed. It's not like a little gas ever killed anyone."

"What is the fastest animal in the world? The Ethiopian chicken."

"What's the difference between a basketball player and a mexican? Nothing, they both run, jump, shoot and steal."

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that's a little condescending."

"How can I know hundreds of digits of pi But not know the digits of your phone number?"

"When does CPR become necrophilia?"

"What do ghosts use for lube? Rectoplasm..."

"Im new to reddit S.O.S How did I asap Iraq.... I ran"

"I apologize to everyone that I've ever offended. Just kidding. Could you imagine?"

"My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window."