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Joke of the Day

"My wife uses an entire bottle of dish soap when she washes the dishes every night. Another day, another Dawn"

"What does an army of fire ants have in common with a horny dolphin? Both come in waves."

"wife calls and says ""i think the carburetor is flooded"" experienced husband starts from the top. ""honey, where is the car?"" ""at the bottom of the pool"""

"Thumb sucking My missus asked me to help her stop sucking her thumb, so I drew a cock on it"

"Just a hipster joke passing by... Why did the hipster burn his hand? Because he touched the heater before it was cool."

"TIFU by feeding my mogwai after midnight Whoops, wrong sub. By the way, if you see one, just throw it in the microwave for like 45 seconds."

"""Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker."" ""Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?"" ""Seems fine."""

"Helen Keller walks into a bar ......... then a table and then a chair."

"My wife has a logic fetish... She's always coming to conclusions."

"I robbed a cookery shop last night... to make it big you've got to take some whisks."