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Joke of the Day

"Democrats are the sexiest party... Because no one wants some elephant"

"How did Reese die while eating cereal? Witherspoon"

"What is going to replace ObamaCare? Don.T.Care"

"Neighbor's kid just asked me 2 fix his computer. I was gonna tell him 2 come back tomorrow but I saw the look of ""I need porn"" in his eyes."

"Ever since Peter was rejected by another girl again, I feel nervous every time he enters the school building. But I'm sure he brings that gun for self-defense purpose."

"An old man was asking God: ""God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"" And God answered: ""Nine."" ""God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"" ""Eight, seven, six..."""

"if a rabbit's foot brings good luck then, what happened to the rabbit?"

"Who is Thor? A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: http://amzn.com/B00BERRBI2)"

"My friend bought a stone mirror. It reflects poorly on him."

"I meet James Bond at my university. After some greetings, I ask him: ""Whats your GPA?"" James answers: ""4 2.4."""