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Joke of the Day

"I'll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working..."

"I don't know how well Fast & Furious 8 will do in the box office I mean, without Paul Walker, it'll probably just crash and burn, really."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never had a lentil all over my chest."

"My life The biggest joke of all."

"""Daddy, am I going to die someday?"" ""No, you're the only immortal being in the entire world. Goodnight, stupid."""

"People who don't wash their hands make me sick."

"*stomps feet during a tantrum, reaches fitbit step goal*"

"Why don't hat store owners and pet shop owner get along? Because you can't be a fan of hat care and cat hair."

"Confucius says: ""Woman who fly upside in airplane have open cockpit."""

"Why couldn't the blacksmith use lead to create the lock? Because it would have Lead(II) trouble."