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Joke of the Day
"""Honey did you put a dead rattlesnake in my boot?"" Oh it died?"
Next Joke
"What is a stuttering ballerinas favourite day of the week Tu-Tu Tuesday"
"Moses opens his tablet. The notification says, ""You have 10 unread commandments'."
"Why is Gandalf's cupcake shop so successful? Because he has a magical staff."
"What is the difference between a wife and a parasite? At least a parasite won't leave you for someone else after sucking everything out of you."
"You ever hear the joke about the 3 holes in the back yard? Well well well...."
"[catches spider in a glass] spider: omg are you going to drink me? me: oh no this is just to take you outside spider: me: spider: drink me"
"I thought about doing stand up comedy, then I sat back down again."
"Last night I dreamed that I was a homeless dog It was pretty *ruff*."
"All that money and sleep was super annoying anyway. -lies parents tell themselves"