212949

Joke of the Day

"Last night I dreamed that I was a homeless dog It was pretty *ruff*."

"I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream"

"Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom? A: To keep the swelling down."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list."

"Women don't say sorry, when a guy is right they say.... ""Whatever!"""

"It's black, and when it falls out of a tree your piano breaks. Your piano."

"What do wheat, gluten, and Arkansas have in common? They're all in bread."

"I so want to be in a relationship. I want to account for everything I do. Answer to someone when I come home late. And get dragged over the coals for not calling a hundred times a day."

"Why did the crow go to the gym? To work on his caw strength."

"Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw"