50023

Joke of the Day

"Why does skrillex suck at fishing? He always drop the bass. sorry"

"What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam!!"

"Submitted ten jokes to a local newspaper that was giving away $100 for the best joke. Despite multiple efforts to win, no pun in ten did."

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a person? None. Light bulbs don't change anything."

"I used to miss Mitch Hedburg I still do... But I used to, too. RIP"

"*notices ham sandwich while searching inside myself* 'wait, if that's here' *son opens lunchbox to find debilitating existential malaise*"

"I was trying to work out which of the Thai girls at a bar was actually a girl, and got it embarrassingly wrong... ...I felt such a dick."

"DOCTOR: Don't be embarrassed. Taking trousers off is normal for a prostate exam. ME: Err yeah I guess. Should I take mine off too?"

"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo. Better if you say this aloud."

"Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12."