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Joke of the Day

"My Friend Told Me His Girlfriend Talks a lot in Her Sleep.. ..Apparently ""I Know"" wasn't the right answer."

"The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini."

"Dinosaurs never had peanut butter and jelly and they all died."

"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in."

"Just saw a guy sitting with a Blackberry and a newspaper. I think he was waiting for a horse."

"Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!"

"Really hope autocorrect altered that last text because if not my mom's taking my little brother to a Christian rape concert tonight."

"Doctors to Patients The patient says, ""Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea."" The doctor says, ""Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink."""

"My tweets are only motivational if your motive is to become an asshole."

"What did Hagrid say to Harry Potter after Harry had a mishap with some potions? ""You're a lizard Harry!"""