4994
Joke of the Day
"Why are people leaving the Ukraine? I don't know but they sure are Russian."
Next Joke
"I read the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, it was terrible."
"I haven't been laid in so long that the Pope is laughing at me."
"Click Bait Joke"
"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's time consuming."
"I'm the perfect man if you don't factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being."
"Just saw a magazine cover that said ""Katy Perry is on fire"" so I bought it and they meant it as a metaphor and this whole week is bullshit"
"[notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?"
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance We'll see about that"
"Patriots new theme song [could it be anything else?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuzmub5PXNQ)"