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Joke of the Day

"""We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack,"" I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available"

"A white couple gets a black child Angry husband asks-you white,me white.why is baby black? Wife-you hot,me hot.baby burnt!"

"First people said ""Myspace"" me. Now everyone says ""Facebook"" me. I'm sticking with a classic and still telling people to ""blow"" me."

"I dated a girl once who turned out to be a cannibal. That really came back to bite me in the ass."

"Just went to the supermarket and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas I can't believe the currant exchange rate."

"Why don't ghosts play sports? Boo!"

"What do you call houses who have good behavior? Manors."

"A conversation between 3 partially deaf elderly men. Elder 1: It's windy! Elder 2: No, it's thursday! Elder 3: Right, let's all get a cuppa tea shall we?"

"Inspiring to see someone lift himself up by his own bootstraps. But soon you'll wonder what you're doing at a fucking magic show."

"You said I could have my way with you. If you didn't want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should've been more specific."