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Joke of the Day

"Beauty and the Beast is my favorite story that teaches kids that if you're ugly, hold a girl against her will & she'll eventually love you."

"What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium."

"Why was skrillex banned from the music shop? for dropping the bass too much"

"I'm writing a ""Choose Your Own Adventure"" book about being in a Chinese family. No matter what page you turn to, you're never good enough"

"My thoughts today are like underwear, I don't have any clean ones."

"Yo' mamma is so dumb.... ... She put a ruler on the side of her bed to see how long she slept."

"Never date an Aztec woman.. They will rip your heart out."

"Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas? In a skeptic tank. --- (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)"

"I saw some things at the auction labeled ""Art Objects"" Considering what they looked like, I'd object, too"

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year."