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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a ""Choose Your Own Adventure"" book about being in a Chinese family. No matter what page you turn to, you're never good enough"

"What did the homophobic sheep say when he saw the two female sheep making out in the field? ""Oh, ewe"""

"A man was caught having sex with the Venus de Milo... ...he was charged with statutory rape"

"Who gets the most ass in college? The chair"

"Apple CEO Tim Cook has come out as gay. This totally explains why the new iPhone charger holes became tighter after Steve Jobs died."

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the person whose name I've forgotten."

"Why couldn't the philosopher make a living? He made no sense. I tried, I really did."

"My two year old just learned to say shut up. Coincidentally I just lost all guilt about clothes lining a toddler."

"Of course there's a financial crisis in Greece. How much yogurt could they possibly sell."

"I got a little ass last night!... My finger went through the toilet paper!"