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Joke of the Day

"So, a happy Muslim on an empty stomach enters a gay bar............. Bartender asks, ""What will it be!?"" The Muslim replies, ""Shots for everyone!"""

"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried. *-Hannibal Lecter*"

"Gordon Ramsay screamed at me that I didn't know the first thing about seasoning But I took it with a pinch of sugar"

"What does a Gynecologist and Pizza Delivery guy have in common? Both get to smell the goods but neither get to eat it. (A straight rip from /r/funny with my apologies)"

"[NSFW] What do they say after intercourse in Alabama? ""Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my smokes!"""

"Lost a couple FB friends overnight. Hopefully they just died and it wasn't something I said..."

"""And how's yer wife Pat?"" ""Sure she do be awful sick."" ""Is ut dangerous she is?"" ""No she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!"""

"69% People can find something dirty in every sentence. And you are in those 69% :D"

"I was recently the subject of a joke. I chickened out of a fight, and crossed the road to get away."

"I once held a PHD in the field of literature And then he asked me to put him down and pick up all the books I threw all over the grass"