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Joke of the Day

"Lost a couple FB friends overnight. Hopefully they just died and it wasn't something I said..."

"Give me that! You're going to hurt yourself! *takes toy *hurts self with toy 4: Hahahaha"

"Did you hear the popular pickle? He's kind of a big dill."

"Humans should be eternally grateful it wasn't me who was in Newton's place. If the apple hit me I'd be like ""Nice!"" & eat it. End of story."

"I once tried to overdose on Viagra. It was the hardest time of my life.."

"A Man Got Into a Fight at a Strip Club He lost, but in the end he fought hard."

"Today was... ... the best day of the year"

"I went to China and couldn't find a single Catholic church... I guess they must have heard about the ""One-child only"" policy"

"So I had a dream the other night that I won $100K on a scratch off lottery ticket. Tonight I bought one and I won my $1 back"

"Did you hear about the new winter resort that caters exclusively to men with erectile disfunction? It's called Lake Flaccid."