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Joke of the Day

"I almost choken on food and the whole time it was happening I was just thinking ""What a cliche way for a fat person to die of"""

"Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements. They may cremate, they Mayberry"

"A man rings your internet doorbell.. Says: ""Can you spare 5 minutes to talk about Bernie Sanders?"""

"We go to college to get a good job to buy an expensive tv to watch truck drivers on the discovery channel."

"What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty? Faith lifts"

"Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse? The psycho-path!"

"*Young Jesus plays with food* Mary: you're not playing until you finish your bread and fish! *ugh* *touches food* *it multiplies* NOOOOOO!!!"

"What is black and white and red and brown and silver and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a harpoon through her head."

"My driver's license says I'm an organ donor but jokes on them because I have a piano."

"Im pretty sure my dick is a masochist It loves being beaten every day"