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Joke of the Day
"Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements. They may cremate, they Mayberry"
Next Joke
"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""why the long face?"""
"Calm down shouty museum man. I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton."
"""What's that in the bag?"" ""An AK-47."" ""No next to that."" ""A bag of cheetos."" ""You can't bring that into the movie."""
"*Brings pen to sword fight* Guy with sword : What's that? Me : Tis mightier! *Gets beheaded*"
"Do you know what beats meat? a hand."
"What does heroin make you feel like? More heroin."
"Called the front desk of our motel and told him ""I've gotta leak in the sink."" He said ""That's OK, just rinse it out when you're done."""
"[Married pillow-talk] Husband: What's your deepest fantasy? Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table."
"What did the man say to the fly? ""Hey.. you're looking fly"""