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Joke of the Day

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" is a great quote... ... but it is not the best way to tell your kid that he's adopted."

"My inner child just threatened to call Social Services if I don't eat ice cream for supper tonight."

"Your stick-figure family of 6 really isn't necessary. No one sees your minivan and mistakes you for wild and single."

"Did you hear about that new liberal episcopal church? It has six commandments and four suggestions"

"Why do gay guys have a really good fashion sense? Well, you would think so after spending so much time in the closet.. Read this somewhere awhile ago and made me laugh XD"

"Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."

"I think the Netherlands should have a duke rather than a king... [x-post from r/puns] ""The Dutchy of the Netherlands"" has a nice ring to it."

"trump is shitting furiously into a golden toilet right this moment"

"Now that Justin Timberlake is married he might as well take sexy back and exchange it for some sweatpants and a recliner."

"What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock? Publicly traded stock will mature and make money."