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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a church leader of the Flying Spaghetti Monster religion (Pastafarianism)? A pasta (pass-tah)!"

"A Roman walks into a bar.... ...Holds up two fingers and says ""five beers please""."

"If I don't eat all of my food, it goes to waste. If I do eat all of my food, it goes to *waist*."

"Did anyone else hear about the claustrophile? He just came out of the closet recently."

"""If you started at 16 and work until you're 23. That would give you 10 years of experience."" Back to school for you My friend!"

"I can give you the reason for anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."

"[ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! ""Toilet paper?!"""

"I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person."

"WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY... oh there it is."

"When I'm having a bad day, I like to think of Prince William, Prince and will.i.am introducing themselves to each other."