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Joke of the Day

"People say Millennials are entitled... but have you ever tried to tell an old lady her coupon has expired?"

"So I got asked if I wanted a threesome... I said no thanks, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents."

"Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they ""hate it""!! They are the real heroes."

"Your beauty cannot be contained by the set of all real numbers. That's because it's imaginary."

"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."

"How much to learn the thriller dance moves? ""Ma'am... this is senior citizens Zumba class!"""

"Al Gore should have had a band named The Algorehythms. Courtesy of my dad at lunch today."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... When you've reached the end you feel sick, ashamed, and you just want to die."

"At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy I loved that wheelchair."

"If money can't buy happiness what do you pay a hitman with?"