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Joke of the Day

"At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy I loved that wheelchair."

"I would like to tell you guys a joke... ...but I'd rather keep it about the film."

"My girlfriend called me a misogynist today That's a big word for a female."

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."

"What happened when Canada got rid of the penny? Canadians became *penniless*"

"I borrowed $500 from a co-worker then paid a homeless guy $8 to kill him in a McDonald's bathroom. I'm up $405 or whatever."

"I was thinking of hosting a gathering of celebrities where we make harsh jokes about honoree JLO's backside. Think of it as a rump roast."

"A guy walks in a library: - Do you have motivational books here? - Yes darling, right there, 3rd row, the second shelf. - Do you have any books closer?"""

"What car is it best to grow grass on? K-K-K-Kia"

"Space-X just used a multi-stage propellent catapult to send a small group of cattle into low-earth orbit. Its the first heard shot 'round the world."