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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician? A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!"

"If you leave your house with one leg, that's going out on a limb."

"Religion is all about who you DON'T recognize..... Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, Protestants don't recognize the Pope, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store."

"I'm starting a support group for people who think they are mortgages. The most important thing is for them to realize that they are not a loan."

"I do have a swimmers body, he's been in my trunk for days"

"I know it shouldn't it make me feel bad about myself, but why didn't a priest ever try to molest ME?"

"Say what you want about porn stars... but they work hard, right up until the moment they get off."

"What system do they teach in Hamburger High's math courses? The meatric system silly!"

"I would like to thank the kind stranger I met on the bus this morning for teaching me the meaning of the word 'abundance'. It means a lot."

"There is a vast difference between an underdog and a loser, the first one has a real chance to win."