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Joke of the Day
"Your girlfriend is much prettier with her hair down. And by down' I mean over her face'."
Next Joke
"Gotye is probably my favorite band named after what people said playing tag in ancient times."
"well its a strange request ""pleease"" ok ok [doctor says test results again only this time in arnold schwarzenegger voice] its naht a toomah"
"What did the Soviet man have to say about the Nazis? U SS R the worst"
"What did the pizza man say to Jay Garrick? Hi, I'm Jay Garrick."
"[raises hand in ethics class] So if I see a baby outside at night and nobody's around, is that, like, my problem?"
"You're only as good as your internet connection."
"If a deadly alligator appears in the instant after you tell your friends you'll see them later there is literally no way to warn them"
"Sine, cosine and ln(x) are at a party Sine approaches cosine and says, ""Hey, what's ln(x) doing over in the corner by himself?"". Cosine responds, ""You see, ln(x) doesn't integrate very well""."
"Today is world piles day Get yourself checked. If you don't have piles, celebrate for being a ""perfect asshole"" If you do have piles, still celebrate, for being a ""pain in the ass"""