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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan? Take away their little brooms!"

"Get student loans so that you can go to college and get a job to pay off your student loans."

"Sorry, but your kids don't look adorable when they lose their teeth, they look like tiny homeless people."

"Argon walks into a bar The bartender looks up angrily, yelling at him, ""Get out! We don't take stuck up snobs like you!"" Argon doesn't react."

"I'm more of a leader than a follower, unless you're wearing yoga pants."

"The barber from across the street was just arrested for selling drugs. I was his customer for 3 years. Didn't know he was also a barber."

"are you human? (sorry) I am dancer"

"Every time I lay down in bed I think 'why didn't I do this sooner?'"

"A guy is lying on a field. There's a backpack lying on his back, and a lot of flies are flying around. What's in the backpack? A parachute."

"Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public."