209558

Joke of the Day

"A guy is lying on a field. There's a backpack lying on his back, and a lot of flies are flying around. What's in the backpack? A parachute."

"News is reporting a nun just had a baby. It's official, a nun is getting more action than me."

"I just don't understand my next door neighbor. She keeps going on about how she'd love to be a contestant on a reality show, but she went mental when she found out I'd put cameras all over her house."

"Why can t my 14 year old friend drive... Because she s a woman"

"People who write hai and bai, wai?"

"I think every guy has tucked their genitalia between their legs to pretend they have a vagina. But I didn't know my girlfriend had been doing it for the past 3 years."

"A man walks into a bar..... ""ouch"""

"Marijuana is the gateway drug to taking 45 minutes to pick out which color Gatorade you want to buy."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... and I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."

"Just learned that if lightning strikes within 50 feet of you, you can speak every language simultaneously and pee out of your eyes."