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Joke of the Day

"I'm not a Facebook status, you don't have to like me."

"I've heard like seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor it's gonna benign."

"Her: You should drink in moderation Me: Moderation?You makin words up? H: You're gonna piss on my lawn again aren't you? M: ...In moderation"

"Me: I love you Wife: I will testify against you if required"

"I heard jesus was a pretty gay guy cause he got nailed by soldiers"

"If you get your phone wet, put it in a bag of rice overnight Eventually an Asian will come and fix it"

"Having a dirty mind is okay, but having a clean heart is much more important."

"befor they had dog cops they tried cat cops but the cats kept meowing at the policemans durimg the stakeouts"

"Met this chinese guy with the surname Shen. His name's Eric. As in Eric Shen. Have him for more than 4hours, call a doctor!"

"You had me at: I'm calling the police."