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Joke of the Day

"Nicki Minaj washes off her Halloween make up to reveal Lady Gaga who washes her face to reveal Madonna who washes her face to reveal an Emu."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards At the start all you need is a heart and a diamond. By the end you just want a club and a spade"

"why do philosophers love the ocean so much? because it's deep!"

"Why is this election historic? It's the first time we're guaranteed there'll be a cunt in the oval office."

"It only took three years but I finally finished eating that box of taquitos from Costco."

"A wise man learns from his mistakes. A wiser man learns from others' mistakes."

"A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst."

"A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre... so he gave it to her."

"New twist on an old joke (long) Don't know if this is the right place for this but I think fellow joke-lovers will think it's amazing. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/11/18/guy-walks-into-a-bar"

"Guy paying for condoms at Walgreens got asked if he needed a bag He said back to cashier, ""Nah, her face ain't that bad."""