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Joke of the Day

"I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 shades of grey. Like the one where she gets a job right after college"

"I tried to wear skinny jeans but it squeezed all my flesh into the top half of my body and made me look like a novelty balloon."

"They can identify a dead body by its dental records. How cool is that? ""We don't know who he is, but we know his dentist!"""

"I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken"

"Does it disturb anyone else that ""The Los Angeles Angels"" baseball team translates directly to ""The The Angels Angels""?"

"There's no place like home. (to poop)"

"AROMATHERAPY CONNUDRUM: Spilling a large bucket of Lavender oil all over your carpet: Very stressful, or very relaxing?"

"Every man hopes to marry a nymphomaniac; but in many marriages, after a few years the nympho leaves, but the maniac stays."

"Q: Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head? A: Because from a distance they looked like hares."