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Joke of the Day

"I THINK [boyfriend goes by] YOU'RE TOO [boyfriend goes by] YOUNG FOR ME [boyfriend goes by] -me breaking up w/ my boyfriend at the carousel"

"how do you catch a unique cat? unique up on it. (im sorry)"

"What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend? Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her."

"The Twelve Days of Christmas would cost$107,000 this year which is relatively cheap considering the amount of human trafficking in the song."

"I'm not superstitious, I'm just a bit stitious."

"WIFE: Where are the groceries? ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean? *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*"

"Your mama's mouth is like a smoke house. Everyone is always hanging their meat in it."

"What Time Is It? Its time for lunch."

"I sneezed real hard, and while I did not break any bones, I did sustain some tissue damage."

"Why doesn't Mexico have any good athletes? Because anybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in America"