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Joke of the Day
"A man using Apple maps walks into a bar... Or maybe it was a hospital? Or possibly a church?"
Next Joke
"What should you do when you see a spaceman? Park in it, man."
"Where are average things manufactured? The Satisfactory"
"People come up to me all the time in the street and they say to me, they say, ""Joe, what's the difference between Hag Shavuot and Hag Ha-Katzir?"" And I say to them, I say, ""Oh, about fifty bucks."""
"[turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won't be laughing when it's time to pick it all up"
"note to TV shows: I do not want, nor will I ever want, a look inside the episode"
"Groucho Marx once said: Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read."
"The three biggest lies in Wyoming... ""I won this belt buckle in a rodeo, my trucks paid for and I was just helping that sheep over the fence."""
"What's the difference between ""a choice"" and "" to choose?"" ""A choice"" is a decision you make. ""To choose"" are what Mexicans put on their feet."
"Pedophile almost wins marathon... He just came in a little behind."