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Joke of the Day

"Uncle Bill always gave 100% Son: How did he die Dad? Dad: He donated blood."

"I told myself after high school I wasn't going to smoke any more weed. I haven't smoked any less either."

"I hear Bristol Palin is pregnant again... Ever since Trig was born, she's been Down to fuck."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse's isn't human, the Pope doesn't use his, and Cher doesn't have one. What is it? Last Names"

"So I heard Lena Dunham has a new show coming out... It's called Sister, Sister."

"You know how Kim Kardashian thought her butt would ""break the Internet""? I know what would really break the Internet... Nickelback should sing about Comic Sans."

"Why shouldn't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything."

"There is a guy at my job who wears a turban... ...I wonder if he has ever called in Sikh to work?"

"What does the rest of the colony call an old ant? An antique."

"What do you get when you cross a onion and a donkey? A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye"