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Joke of the Day

"My friend said that China might be considering assisted suicide for teenagers He's probably wrong, but if he's right, that would mark the beginning of euthanasia of youth in Asia."

"If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans... ...don't worry about it. They're too weak to hurt you."

"My bladder has been tested on this road trip. I still don't know how far a 'mile' really is but I can drive 75 of them before I have to pee."

"Why are homosexuals always happy? Cause they're gay (happy)."

"Her: when you said ""magical in bed"" this isn't exactly what I was exp- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card Her: *softly* holy shit"

"Thanks to this HUGE spider web I just walked into we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked"

"What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula? ""Count Dracula."""

"I think semi-colons have gotten a bad rap. They should be re-branded as super-commas."

"What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off? Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling."

"""Alright man let's crack open a few cold ones, it's going to be a fun night"" Said one necrophiliac to another as they walked into the morgue"