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Joke of the Day

"My bladder has been tested on this road trip. I still don't know how far a 'mile' really is but I can drive 75 of them before I have to pee."

"I told my girlfriend that I am over my ex... I don't have to feel guilty anymore."

"saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stras Innjrden he opens a Fonstrvivig"

"Certain religions condemn eating pig meat. They're against the idea of cannibalism."

"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"

"I like my coffee like I like my women.... .....black and with a dick in it."

"NSFW Hey girl, are you a doctor? I need to speak to one because you've given me an erection that's lasted longer than 4 hours."

"Five emos in a room A study has shown that if you put five emos in a room, one of them will eventually kill himself because he wont have a corner to cry in."

"I just wrote a check for 6 dollars, so I don't really wanna hear about your 'summer' house."

"Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days..."