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Joke of the Day

"a fun prank is when ur friemd about to sit in a chair u pul the chair out from under them and replace it w/ a fancier mor comfortabal chair"

"Why is Theresa May so against Porn? When she clearly loves fucking a whole country at once with the world watching."

"Does Batman make this look bad? [http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg](http://i.imgur.com/aNurRdN.jpg) I personally think it's funny, but it is pretty fucked up."

"What does D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexic Association."

"who gives a shit about how many spiders you eat when you're asleep? I'm worried about how many are getting into the other holes"

"me: mom i like this person from twitter mom: TWITTER IS LIKE CRAIGSLIST YOU THINK YOURE BUYING USED BOWLING SHOES AND YOU WIND UP DEAD"

"I should marry my neighbor. She doesn't live with me, we never speak, and we see each other naked all the time."

"I hate pebbles! They are a bitch"

"I'm crying and wearing a falcon glove so I get sympathy sex from people who think my falcon flew away."

"So my buddy was going down... On his grandmother, and he told me he realized he was tasting horse semen... That's when he thought. ""I wonder if that's what killed her or not? """