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Joke of the Day
"""YOLO"" giggled the 53rd incarnation of Buddha"
Next Joke
"3rd eye: youre on drugs 4th eye: youre a nerd 5th-7th eyes: ??? 8th eye: you are now a spider 9th eye: spider on drugs 16th eye: nerd spider"
"I must be emotionally constipated ...because I haven't given a shit in days"
"Women call me ugly until they find out what I make Then they call me ugly and poor"
"Lost my wristwatch at a party once. A guy stepped on it while sexually harassing a girl. I punched him straight in the chin, knocking him out. Nobody does that to a girl, not on my watch."
"What's the difference between GOP voters and polar bears? Polar bears gather around the ice hole."
"What is the key to being a successful and lucrative locksmith? There isn't one."
"Employer: ""In this job we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."""
"Qui-gon: You will give me the parts Watto: I'm immune to mind tricks Qui: Are you immune to lightsabers? Watto: I will give you the parts"
"No matter how kind you are German children are kinder"