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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Giraffe lay down in the tall grass? Because it had Leukemia."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? On a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."
"What do you call a joke without a punchline??"
"If I could have one superpower it would be knowing definitively if people like me or not"
"What did the buffalo say to his son when he went to college? Bison."
"""Whats your biggest weakness?"" ""I'm bad at taking compliments"" ""Actually that's quite endearing"" *Leaps across table, punches him in throat*"
"Gandalf gave me a test... I didn't pass."
"What do you get when your iPhone auto-corrects ""lardass""? Kardashian"
"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently, she left me a few days ago."
"Went to Lowes for a new dishwasher pretty stoked that she has a job too."